Guys, I don’t think anyone knows truly how much this girl means to me. She’s always been there for me, for nearly two years I’ve spoken with her almost every day and we’ve told each other everything. We’re practically sisters. The thought of being here without her doesn’t sound appealing at all, she’s the main reason I’ve been able to get through some of my own personal issues, she’s always there with support and kind words, and a lovely voice to match.
I’ve known about her illness for some time now. I’ve never had a chronic illness like this. Hers is debilitating, life threatening, it stops her from functioning on a daily basis. It stops her from living. She can’t get a job. She had to drop out of university. She’s told me before that she feels like a ghost - everyone’s moving and living around her and she’s just stuck, she’s been stuck for so many years.
And it isn’t fair. I’m sitting here shaking, crying because it isn’t fair. Jess is honestly the best person around. She’s the genuine article. She’s so full of empathy and kindness that it’s become a weakness, even. She gives so much of herself to others (anyone following her would know that) sometimes she doesn’t even leave anything for herself. I’ve never known anyone quite as good, quite as important, as Jess. So how could something like this happen to her? Why do bad things happen to good people? - the eternal question.
Jess and I are so attuned on so many different levels, we see echoes of our lives in each other despite the fact she’s in Colorado, I’m in Sydney. Despite the fact we’ve never met. I think that’s why she means so much to me - I understand her, I care so much. The thought of losing her terrifies me more than a lot of things. She can help me when I have my silly emotional issues - how can I help her with something so serious? I feel so helpless in this, words of comfort can only go so far.
She feels guilty about asking for help. She rarely posts about her issues, but it’s come to a point where there’s a time limit. In a few weeks she may not even have internet access.
“I’m terrified and helpless and so, so small and I try so hard to keep hope, but how do you have hope when there realistically is not a scrap of it left.”
Tell her there is hope. Please. If you can help, contact her. She’s considering opening up a paypal account and any donation would help her so much. She’s given so much to me, so much to everyone around her, and we need to help her keep living. So she can keep gracing us with her beautiful voice, so she can keep building us up with her inspirational words and caring thoughts. A world without my angel of music would be a horrible, horrible place.